Breaking the Stigma that Boys Don’t Cry

Influencer: Carri Lager Ph.D.
Photography by Carri Lager Ph.D.

Little boys have traditionally been taught that they need to be “strong” and unemotional to be successful in life. This unrealistic, old-fashioned perspective has contributed to a barrier in men seeking mental health treatment, creating a psychological crisis for men today. In the United States, men experience higher rates of suicide, substance use disorders, and ADHD compared to women. Each year, 6 million men suffer from depression and 1 in 10 men suffer from an anxiety disorder, yet men are significantly less likely to seek help for these debilitating conditions than women. This is largely due to stigma and societal expectations around masculinity. Suffering in silence can lead to a negative self-image, unhealthy relationships, less resiliency when facing life’s inevitable challenges, and even long-term medical issues.

Therapy can offer a private, non-judgmental space for men to address a range of presenting concerns. Men seek therapy for a variety of reasons, here are some common areas: depression, anxiety, substance abuse, relationship or parenting issues, identifying and breaking generational patterns, life transitions, and self-confidence. Engaging in therapy can help men identify what their needs are, manage stress, explore their emotions, focus on creating healthy work/life balance, and develop stronger coping mechanisms. It can also equip men with skills to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and prioritize self-care. Therapy can help men recognize and address the signs of burnout, such as feeling exhausted, detached from work, or experiencing decreased job satisfaction. Finally, chronic, untreated stress and/or anxiety can contribute to some serious health issues, such as a weakened immune system, chronic pain, headaches, digestive problems, sleep disturbances, high blood pressure, and even heart disease.

Men’s mental health is important because it directly impacts their overall well-being, relationships, and quality of life. It also affects the broader community, as men play significant roles in families and society. Addressing men’s mental health can lead to improved relationships, healthier lifestyles, and a more supportive environment for everyone. Traditional gender roles and expectations can contribute to men’s reluctance to seek help with mental health issues. By dismantling these stereotypes and fostering a culture of open communication and greater acceptance, we can create a space where men can feel comfortable seeking help. Prioritizing and normalizing men seeking therapy is an important step towards a more balanced society where boys and men can openly lean on others for valid and much-needed support.